Swipe Right for Elephants
So, after a longer period of celibacy than I would like to disclose, I have decided to try dating again. Apparently my plan to just have the universe deliver Jessica Alba to me has yet gone unfulfilled. Thanks universe. Also fingers crossed.
Anywho, dating pretty much terrifies me. Even the word "date" is like one of those activation triggers, like the ones that turn, innocent people into Russian spies or whatnot. In my case, however, it just turns me from a person with a relative mastery of the English language to a spitting llama with volume control issues...not even the llamas find it attractive, but they're kinda judgy.
Last week a friend showed me Tinder and a few other dating apps, which are helping me helping overcome my inability to speak my native tongue to a pretty girl and actually increase the chances of making a connection with them. It has also vastly reduced the spitting.
All I have to do is swipe left or right and I am potentially paired with a woman who has similar tastes/likes, or doesn't find me hideous, or is as equally desperate. Regardless the whole process is actually kind of fun and a great place to not actually meet women. And go through your entire data plan in about eight minutes.
But I have a question, Tinder. What is the deal with the elephants? Why is every other girl's third picture them with an elephant? Do you rent out elephants for women to pose with just for their dating profiles, or is there some sort of elephant trend that I have totally missed.
Seeing as I just got on Tinder, there is a very real possibility that I have been oblivious to the pachydermie trend (that is, of course, an elephant selfie), and it is now, or was recently a thing. Maybe they are showing how eco-conscious they are..."oh you drive your hybrid to work, that's nice, I ride my elephant into the city...I get much better gas mileage and there's more trunk space..." (that's right, I said it.)
Perhaps it is just a way to show how worldly and adventurous they are. In that case, does anyone have a llama I could rent for an hour? I need to up my Tinder game, and someone else to do the spitting for me.
Anywho, dating pretty much terrifies me. Even the word "date" is like one of those activation triggers, like the ones that turn, innocent people into Russian spies or whatnot. In my case, however, it just turns me from a person with a relative mastery of the English language to a spitting llama with volume control issues...not even the llamas find it attractive, but they're kinda judgy.
Last week a friend showed me Tinder and a few other dating apps, which are helping me helping overcome my inability to speak my native tongue to a pretty girl and actually increase the chances of making a connection with them. It has also vastly reduced the spitting.
All I have to do is swipe left or right and I am potentially paired with a woman who has similar tastes/likes, or doesn't find me hideous, or is as equally desperate. Regardless the whole process is actually kind of fun and a great place to not actually meet women. And go through your entire data plan in about eight minutes.
But I have a question, Tinder. What is the deal with the elephants? Why is every other girl's third picture them with an elephant? Do you rent out elephants for women to pose with just for their dating profiles, or is there some sort of elephant trend that I have totally missed.
Seeing as I just got on Tinder, there is a very real possibility that I have been oblivious to the pachydermie trend (that is, of course, an elephant selfie), and it is now, or was recently a thing. Maybe they are showing how eco-conscious they are..."oh you drive your hybrid to work, that's nice, I ride my elephant into the city...I get much better gas mileage and there's more trunk space..." (that's right, I said it.)
Perhaps it is just a way to show how worldly and adventurous they are. In that case, does anyone have a llama I could rent for an hour? I need to up my Tinder game, and someone else to do the spitting for me.
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