Behind the Adventure
This place is where I share my adventures and I tend to use the word liberally, in part because I like the attitude that anything can be an adventure and also because it makes me feel brave. I love the image of an explorer fighting the elements, flirting with disaster and living without fear. Drinking deeply from the cup of life and laughing in the face of danger... I like this image because it inspires me to be fearless, but I am far from fearless...
What is behind my adventures is insecurity, self doubt, lack of belief in myself and my abilities, and a lingering fear that I will never be good enough. Some days an adventure is going camping, bike riding, paddleboarding, trying a new climbing route, exploring or saying yes to something new...Other days it is finding the courage to go to work, to say hi to a pretty girl, to decide what I really want, or forgiving myself for stuffing my face with delicious carbs. Or hitting the publish button on an article like this one.
What I am learning, what is my lifelong adventure of self discovery and growth, is that I can't avoid fear. I can't pretend that I am not terrified 70% of the time. And terrified of silly things, like what you think about me...I am less afraid of risking my own life doing something stupid than I am of looking stupid while doing it. So that is my truth and that is just one of the many adventures I have ahead of me.
So what really makes an adventurer? I guess it is not the image of the fearless explorer, but that same explorer who, despite all the fear, all the thoughts about worst-case scenarios, all the doubt...they just do it anyway. So while not all of these activities, articles and endeavors constitute an actual adventure, they are for me and despite my trepidation, I will forge ahead terrified, yet hopeful.
What is behind my adventures is insecurity, self doubt, lack of belief in myself and my abilities, and a lingering fear that I will never be good enough. Some days an adventure is going camping, bike riding, paddleboarding, trying a new climbing route, exploring or saying yes to something new...Other days it is finding the courage to go to work, to say hi to a pretty girl, to decide what I really want, or forgiving myself for stuffing my face with delicious carbs. Or hitting the publish button on an article like this one.
What I am learning, what is my lifelong adventure of self discovery and growth, is that I can't avoid fear. I can't pretend that I am not terrified 70% of the time. And terrified of silly things, like what you think about me...I am less afraid of risking my own life doing something stupid than I am of looking stupid while doing it. So that is my truth and that is just one of the many adventures I have ahead of me.
So what really makes an adventurer? I guess it is not the image of the fearless explorer, but that same explorer who, despite all the fear, all the thoughts about worst-case scenarios, all the doubt...they just do it anyway. So while not all of these activities, articles and endeavors constitute an actual adventure, they are for me and despite my trepidation, I will forge ahead terrified, yet hopeful.
It IS an adventure Jeff and fear is not always a bad thing. If you don't let it paralyze you, fear moves mountains. I've seen it many within the circles we walk in...and in you.
ReplyDeleteAs much as we often strive to make outcomes in life predictable, life often has other plans, whether we like it or not. So enjoy the ride.